Negotiating open and hidden power struggles in couple counseling: a case example

Abstract

In couples counseling it can be challenging to find ways to engage partners in being more receptive to each other’s needs, and in helping them learn more efficient ways of conflict resolution. Through use of a case study, a structured, and yet flexible way of leading client dialogue will be demonstrated, showing how the counselor can make sense of the chaos to then facilitate and promote mutual understanding and receptiveness between partners in conflict.The theoretical basis of this approach to conflict resolution is described, one grounded in the Individual Psychology of Alfred Adler. Concepts such as social embeddedness and the need to feel belonging, inferiority feelings, and the individual’s psychological movement away from feelings of inferiority are addressed from the perspective of couples relationships.The approach described provides a technique for uncovering and negotiating the power struggles intrinsic to couple’s conflicts, and shows how partners can find the courage to relate to the other in a way that meets their personal needs, the needs of the other, and the needs of the relationship.